Summer Shudder

The sounds of battle met my ears, and I was scared. Not for myself, no; what was happening with Zack? Where was he? What was happening? Not only was he possibly my only hope to survive long enough to get back to Midgar, but he was my best friend. My only friend. I didn’t know what I would do if he…

I fought against the haze in my brain, the fog caused by the mako. I was such a wimp. I couldn’t even handle mako addiction, and Zack was probably fighting for his life. If only I were SOLDIER. If only…

Somehow, I fought up the strength to slowly move from where I was slumped against a rock face. I started dragging myself pointlessly, almost mindlessly across the ground, crawling towards the fight, where Zack was surely fighting for his life. I had to do something. I had to help him. I had to. I owed him so much. I had to try.

Then, as the sky darkened, a barrage of gunfire resounded around me, and I panicked as I heard an all-too-familiar cry of pain. No. He wasn’t going to be taken out. Not like this.

Not because I was too weak to help him.

Not because I was nothing but a burden since we escaped Shinra Manor.

Not because I couldn’t pull myself together in time.

Not because I was nothing but a little mako-addicted infantryman.

Not because of me.

I pulled myself more insistently across the ground as the sky darkened further. I knew a storm was about to break. I dragged myself across the blood-drenched ground, and still the panic gave me enough drive to pull myself with decent speed. I couldn’t let him down. He was my friend. I had to help him. He had to be okay, he had to.

I finally reached the very cliff of the battleground, and I pushed myself upright so I could see his face.

“Z-zack?” I muttered hesitantly. He was going to be okay. He had to. He was SOLDIER. A few bullets couldn’t take him out…

“F-for the…both of us…” Zack choked out. I was confused.

“For the...both of us?” I repeated, trying to see what he was trying to say.

“That’s right,” he muttered, “You’re gonna…” his voice trailed off as he fought against his wounds. He was practically drenched in his own blood. My mind stayed blank, unbelieving. No.

“You’re gonna…?” I repeated him again, waiting for him to tell me what he was trying so desperately to say. He reached up and pulled me into an awkward, yet intense hug.

“Live,” he said firmly, probably assuring himself as well as me. I knew why he’d done this. It was because of me. “For the both of us. Y-you’ll be…my living l-legacy.” His chest was bloody, it spread onto my face and into my hair, but I didn’t pull back until his arm dropped back to his side. I could see he was using what was left of his strength to pick his sword off the ground and hold it towards me. I would have protested, would have told him to take it easy, if I could only get rid of the terrible numbness in my head. This. Wasn’t. Happening.

“My dreams…m-my honor…” he stared intensely at me, holding the sword out firmly. “They’re yours now.” Because I didn’t know what else to do, I couldn’t think, couldn’t feel enough to think of a way to help my friend, I took the sword…his sword…my sword now…the Buster Sword.

“I’m…your living…legacy…” I muttered, as the horrible numbness remained in place. No. This wasn’t happening. We were going to go to Midgar. He would be okay. He had to be okay.

Zack smiled at me one last time, his trademark smile of complete ease. Then his glowing blue eyes closed one last time.

This wasn’t happening.

This couldn’t be happening.

This shouldn’t be happening.

But it was. It did. I tried desperately to hold every tear and scream and cry I had built up these last few moments in, but slowly, quietly, I started to sob. No. Not because of me. A quiet rain started to fall around us, like the very Planet was grieving with me.

Far away, somewhere in Midgar, an anguished scream of pain and loss was heard by a brunette flower girl.